Here's a poem for next week's parasha - Va'era - the story of Abraham and Sara.

"Inheritance"

Sara was horrible to Hagar
And vexed her with turmoil and toil.
Whilst Sarah's descendants got Torah,
Hagar's now have all the oil.

"The Last Word"

Andrew Mitchell was rude to that Copper
Although he didn't have Turettes,
And now, at last, he's come a cropper
Despite expressing his regrets.

To call him a pleb was just absurd
And showed his poor control of wrath.
But the boys in blue had the last word
For Mitchell is a cyclopath.

Here's one about the first chapter of the book of Genesis, which we read in synagogue this morning.

"God's Diary"

Sunday - up before the lark
Separated light from dark.
Monday - started before seven
Working on this thing called Heaven.
Tuesday - I was very pleased,
Made the land and plants and seas.
Wednesday - Had a lot of fun
Finishing the moon and sun.
Thursday -used a lot of words
Making fish, insects and birds.
Friday- made mankind and beasts,
Then prepared my Sabbath feast.
Saturday - today's the best.
I get a chance to sit and rest.
This perfect world -
Took me all week to knock it up.
Now watch mankind cock it up.  

Here's a new poem on a topical issue.

"Goodbye"

Teresa May
Has had to pray
That Hamza and his mates
Would not find a new legal dodge
To not go to the States,
And though they went back
To the Court
And played it by the book,
The Court said "No.
You've got to go."
So May is off the Hook.

Paralympic poems

I was lucky enoughto attend the Olympics (hockey) and Paralympics (Athletics).. All the compliments about smiling security staff and games makers are absolutely true.

We saw the great Oscar Pistorius run in that unbelievable 200 metres race last Sunday night when he was beaten by Alan Oliveira, and the evening ended in style when David Weir won the 5000 metres T54 race.

Here are some pics (courtesy of my wife Ruth) and a few poems.

There's a wonderful team called GB
Which represents people like me.
They've won shedloads of medals
Using boats legs and pedals
And I've watched it, sat on my settee.

(To the tune of the National Anthem)

On track or tv screen
Just once a drama queen
Greatest we've seen.
Mostly victorious
Happy and Glorious
Well done, Oscar  Pistorius
Best there's ever been.

Weirwolf in London...

The Olympic Flame

The Olympic flame came past my office this morning. Here are some photos and the obligatory ditty.




The Torch comes to Harrow on the Hill

 (To the tune of "Molly Malone")
In London's fair city
Where the traffic flow's sh....awful
I first set my eyes on the Olympic flame.
It was carried through Harrow
Through a street which was narrow
Just two days before the start of this year's games.

Alive, alive -o-oh, alive, alive-o-oh
Ran a young man with muscles
Alive, alive-o.

Archtypal British scene;   crowd, sponsors, policeman, Union Jack

There were large crowds to greet it.

I bet many have tweeted

That fine summer morning up here on the hill.

There were dancers and big floats

And police in high-viz coats.

To see the real torch was, for many, a thrill.



The Olympic Head of Security breaks free of his handcuffs and waves to the crowd as he's carted off to the nick..  



Alive, alive -o-oh, alive, alive-o-oh 

Ran a young man with muscles
Alive, alive-o.



A topical song (to the tune of "Diamonds are Forever")

Diamond is forever
It costs too much to relieve him.
When he speaks you can't believe him.
He just rigs interest rates
With his bent city mates
To hurt us.....

Diamond is forever
'Cos the banks think that they own us,
So, Big Deal, he waived his bonus.
He'll just massage the facts so he won't pay much tax.
He's gone too far,  like Jimmy Carr.
What good will Diamond do me?
He'll continue to screw me.
He's lost his cred
Like Fred the Shred..
Diamond is forever, forever forever
Daimond is forever, forever, forever
Forever,   and Ever.