Tuesday, 25 December 2012


I didn't know she was dislexic
When I criticized her filing.
I apologised.
We hugged.
Now everything's k.o.

Limmud Food
When I come to Limmud
The Sessions are good,
But why is there such
A long wait for the food?
This delay in my fressin'
Can cause me much stressin',
More so when it makes me
Late for my next session.
This logistical problem
Will beat every planner
Until they can make the food
Come down like Manna.

Oy Vay! It will soon be Shabbat.
Prepare the candles; set the table; get ready for shul  - no time to rest.

Limmud Haikus
1.   Midrash and Movies
      Rafi and Nathan in dinner
      Suits, licenced to thrill.

2.   Conference 2012
      Everyone has a pink bag.
      Are all Limmudniks gay?

3.   Wood, strings, metal. Dead
      Until tied with chords and skill.
      Then a harmony.

Tuesday, 4 December 2012

The Royal Foetus

Here is a modular poem.  below, I have appended various options for the third and fourth lines, which you can select according to taste (or lack thereof)

The Royal pair have feasted on sprout.
It's had an effect, without doubt.
[See below
Because she's got one up the spout.*

* this line might need slight tweaking depending on which of the following  missing lines you opt for.

Options for third and fourth lines
A: The result of their f***ing
     Is that Kate is up-chucking

B: This royal fornication
     has delighted the nation

C: Because those sprouts from Brussels
     Sustained William's muscles

D: Pippa's next book, in future
      Is the royal Karma Sutra

E: Because the Royal Willy
     Has covered the filly